Top 10 Signs Your Pastor is Watching Too Much "Fixer Upper"

America is in love with Chip and Joanna Gaines. Your pastor may be among the many suffering from "Magnolia Mania." So watch for these important signs!

10) Disappointed that the church council won't approve his idea that the interior of the church be done in "ship lap."

9) Broke his arm hanging from a tree "just like Chip does."

8) Infuriates congregation by changing name of church from "Immanuel" to "Magnolia" Lutheran.

7) Entitles his sermon on the great flood, "Demo Day!"

6) Announces a new sermon series on great Biblical characters. First up: Joanna!

5) Looks odd while leading worship with a tool belt around his alb.

4) Proposes that new altar furniture be built by Clint Harp

3) Every fifth word in his sermon is "back splash."

2) Won't take off his new t-shirt, "Keep Waco Wacko."

And the number one sign that your pastor is watching too much "Fixer Upper?"

1) Tells parishioners, "Just call me Chip!"

It's time for my annual summer blog vacation!

Yes, this time each summer I take a blog vacation.  The reason is pretty simple.  I'm so tired.

You see, blogging is hard work.  I spend 15-20 minutes a day working on my blog.  Now, if you multiply that amount of time by, say, 100 years, well, that's a lot of time.  So, you can see why I'm exhausted.

I want to keep things fresh so it makes sense to take a little break.  How will I spend my time? Probably, I'll take four hours a day to checkout other blogs.  Unless they all have taken a blog vacation too.  Then I will just switch over to ESPN to watch some of my favorite sports games.

I especially want to thank the 48.9 people who read my blog each day.  I think the majority of those who read the blog are Life in Christ members.  I know it's not my family.  One Sunday at dinner I happened to mention something I wrote earlier in the week and my kids said in unison, "You have a blog?"  But really I don't mind that they don't check out my blog.  And I'm sure they won't mind thatt I've changed my will and am now leaving my estate to the 48.9 people who faithfully read each day.

And you thought you were wasting your time!

Well, gotta get this blog vacation going! I will return on July 15 with a great article about

You're thinking of getting a dog?

Over the years I've found much useless advice from the pen of Dave Barry.  For example, if you're thinking of getting a dog, Dave says...

You want a dog that will run headfirst at full speed into a wall chasing a ball that you have only pretended to throw.  You want a dog that will do this ten consecutive times, and still, on your 11th fake throw, launch itself at the wall with undiminished enthusiasm.  You want a dog that considers you brilliant because of all the amazing things you can do, such as open a door; a dog that worships you as a treat-dispensing god; a dog that, when you have an intestinal flu and reek like a Hong Kong Dumpster because you have not showered or changed pajamas or brushed your teeth in four days, and you are crouched in the bathroom spewing random fluids and semi-solids from every orifice you possess, your dog is right there next to you, wagging its tail and licking you and just generally doing everything it can to communicate the message: "Wow! You have never smelled more amazing!"

You're welcome!

Health - it's a wonderful thing

About two and a half weeks ago I was suffering the worst pain in my life.  At one point I said to my dear, sweet wife, "Now I know what it feels like to have a baby!"  She disagreed.  But that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Since then I've made an early morning visit to the ER and multiple trips to Dr. Wright's office at Camelback Chiropractic.  As I left his office yesterday, Dr. Wright said, "From where you were two weeks ago to today, well. it's pretty close to being miraculous."

I'll buy that!

So between God's mercy and Dr. Wright's treatments I'm about 95% restored.  Still have a little numbness running on the outside of my right hand.  My pinky finger tingles all the time.  Dr. Wright says there is still a nerve that slightly irritated but hopefully it will become a happy nerve soon.

As it is, I'm a happy and grateful boy.

So my renewed health comes at just the right time.  Today, myself and 15 other LICL members will be attending part two of an evangelism/discipleship workshop.  At 5 pm I'll preach and my little group will provide the music for our Saturday service.  Holy Communion will be celebrated.  If you're in the neighborhood, join us!

Tomorrow, worship takes place at 8 and 10:45 am.  At 9:20 we'll be electing officers for 2016-18 and will receive an update from our treasurer on church finances.

It will be a busy weekend and, praise the Lord, I'm up for it.

Be blessed! Be God's!

From now on I need nothing except faith...

In need of a little Luther? Here's something for you to think about today:

Although I am an unworthy and condemned man, my God has given me in Christ all the riches of righteousness and salvation without any merit on my part, out of pure, free mercy, so that from now on I need nothing except faith which believes that this is true.  Why should I not therefore freely, joyfully, with all my heart, and with an eager will do all things which I know are pleasing and acceptable to such a Father who has ovewhelmed me with His inestimable riches? Therefore, I will give myself as a Christ to my neighbor, just as Christ offered Himself to me; I will do nothing in this life except what I see is necessary, profitable, and salutary to my neighbor, since through faith I have an abundance of all good things in Christ.

Martin Luther, "Treasury of Daily Prayer," page 222-23

Don't doubt God's goodness

I was thumbing through one of my Bibles the other day when I found a devotion I'd torn out of a booklet.

I can't tell you the year the devo was written.  But it was written about a hero of mine, Pistol Pete Maravich, college basketball's greatest scorer.  Let me share it with you:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.  Isaiah 55:8.

No one ever played basketball like Pete Maravich.  He was a ball-handling wizard, a scoring machine who broke nearly every major college scoring record.  Ten years as an NBA star and millions of dollars later, he retired - unhappy and empty.

But that's not the end of the story.  In 1983, Pete surrendered his life to Christ.  For the next four years, his driving passion was to share with others the wonderful joy he had found in Jesus.  Then, early in 1988, he died suddenly of heart failure.  He was only 40 years old.

Why did God take him? Why didn't he allow Pete to continue leading people to Christ with his hard-hitting testimony? Perhaps Pete's autopsy report holds the answer.  Doctors discovered that Pete had a congenital heart problem that should have prevented him from playing basketball.  In fact, they said he probably should have never lived beyond age 20.  Suddenly, we get a glimpse of God's marvelous ways.  He didn't take Pete early; He preserved his life until he had accepted Christ and made his testimony known.

When death claims a believer who is still in his prime, we wonder why.  That's natural.  But our wondering should never lead to doubting God's goodness or wisdom.  He remains trustworthy.  His ways are higher, and so much better, than our ways.

A Christian without a church...

A Christian without a church is like a baseball player without a team or a soldier without an army. You aren't strong enough to survive alone.

Max Lucado, "The Gift for All People," page 137.