Top Ten Anonymous Complaints from Members

A pastor is never pleased to find an anonymous note shoved under the office door.  These notes usually are written by members who have a complaint but don't want the pastor to know who the complainer is.  Here's the top ten...

10) I'm tired of all this preaching about evangelism.  Why the emphasis on outreach? You should tailor your preaching to those in the church who pay the bills!!

9) Can you get the organist to play faster? She plays like maple syrup has been poured over the keys and pedals!

8) Can you get the organist to slow down? She plays like she's got a 10 am reservation at a brunch!

7) Have you seen the Sunday school rooms? They are a mess! If the children can't keep them neat and clean, we should just cancel Sunday school!

6) I have a complaint about the free donuts you serve each Sunday.  I hate Bashas'! Get them from someplace else!

5) How much extra is it costing this church to have the custodian vacuum up all the Cheerios left behind by those noisy kids?!

4) Do something about the rude ushers! I'm sure one of them stood over me and wouldn't move until I put another dollar in the collection plate!

3) I don't like your attempts at humor on Sunday! And by the way, I don't like your haircut either!

2) Why in the world did we build a pulpit if you're not going to use it? Stand still!!

And the number one top ten anonymous complaint from members:

1) If you don't stop this praise band stuff I'm going to set the guitars and drums on fire!!!

Lord Jesus, Thou art Going Forth

What can I for such love divine
 To Thee, Lord Jesus render?
No merit has this heart of mine;
Yet while I live, I'll tender.
Myself alone
 And all I own.
I love to serve before Thee;
 Then when time's past.
 Take me at last
To Thy blest home in glory.

From "The Lutheran Hymnal" number 150, verse 5

The escalator of pain

Vengeance is a passion to get even. It is a hot desire to give back as much pain as someone gave you....The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops, never lets anyone off.

Lewis Smedes, as quoted in "What's So Amazing About Grace," by Philip Yancey, page 115

God Among Sages

Reading Kenneth Richard Samples new book, "God Among Sages," will make you feel good.  Not that it's designed to be a "feel good" book.  But it will make you feel good that your faith and life is rooted in the one true God whose Word is truth and who is truly worthy of our worship and praise.

Part one of the book lays out what Samples calls, "The Historic Christian Portrait of Jesus Christ." He shows Jesus as He is understood by the Orthodox Christian Church.  He demonstrates that Jesus is true God & true man, the promised one sent by God the Father.  Those characteristics which prove that Jesus was more than just an ordinary man are presented.  Samples include sources from outside historic Christianity that testify that Jesus lived and did many of the things which the Gospels teach. Samples shows his readers that it is good and right to put faith and confidence in Christ Jesus for life and salvation.

The second part provides profiles of  Krishna, the Buddha, Confucius and Mohammad.  This part of the book is especially worthwhile if the reader has little knowledge of these leaders and the religions they are connected to.  In light of what we read regarding Islam and the radical groups that have sprung from this religion, "God Among Sages," provides eye-opening information and points out some of the important differences between Islam and Christianity.

Samples is an effective apologist of the Christian faith.  If you want to learn more about what religion is all about in the 21st century, "God Among Sages," is a helpful resource to have on your bookshelf.

If it's Saturday...

There must be a worship service today at 5 pm at Life in Christ.  Bingo! I'll be continuing my sermon series, "Lent - A Season of Renewal" and Holy Communion will be celebrated.

On Sunday we meet for worship at 8 and 11 am.  All kinds of classes for all ages meet at 9:30 am (after have all devoured a decent number of donuts!).

Join us at Life in Christ this weekend!

Top 10 Signs Your Pastor is Suffering From March Madness

No one is immune from March Madness...not even clergy!

10)  Hymn board in church is replaced with posters of the brackets. (thanks Kevin Svec!)

9)  The hymns sound suspiciously like school fight songs.

8)  Starts calling the 12 Apostles the 12 Seeds.

7) Refers to the days of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Saturday Vigil and Easter Sunday as the "Final Four."

6) Found sitting at his desk muttering over and over, "My brackets are busted.  My brackets are busted."

5) Throws a fit when the women's ministry leader beats him in a game of "horse."

4) Calls a technical foul on a noisy two year old during worship.

3) During worship tells congregation, "Wanna see my impersonation of Bobby Knight?" Then hurls a chair down the center aisle.

2) During the children's message, teaches the kids how to spell "Krzyzewski."

And the number one sign your pastor is suffering from March Madness:

1) Gets two services and a Bible class over in 37 minutes so he can get home to see the opening tipoff!

One thing God's Word does for us

It takes God's Word to reveal God's blessing. And, as a sign of His favor, no earthly blessing is intended to be a distraction from God's greater gift: His Son.  Rather, as we bear our crosses and sacrifice in love for our neighbor, we follow Him and abide in His teaching.

"Blessed - God's Gift of Love" Mary Moerbe, page 124