Church joke #575

A boy came late to Sunday school.  Knowing he was usually very prompt, his teacher asked, "Johnny, is there anything wrong?"

"No ma'am, not really," he said.  "I was going to go fishing but my dad told me that I needed to get up and go to church." The teacher was very impressed and asked Johnny if his father explained why it was more important to go to church instead of going fishing.

"Yes ma'am, he did," Johnny said.  "My daddy said he didn't have enough bait for the both of us!" 

You can trust God's heart

God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be confused, and if I cannot trace His hand I can always trust His heart.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon, from "Hope When Your Heart Breaks," page 52

The Lord is your helper!

 

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54;4

            A famous author keeps a special picture in his office.  It shows a turtle setting atop a fence.  The caption at the bottom of the photo reads: If you see a turtle on a fence post, you know he had some help! 

            I doubt that the Psalmist David ever pictured himself as a turtle.  But he counted on and depended upon the help that he received from the Lord God.  Again and again, David sought the Lord’s help.

            Psalm 27:9 – Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; You have been my helper.

            Psalm 28:7 – The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.

            Psalm 30:2 – O Lord my God, I called to You for help and you healed me.

            Psalm 33:20 – We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

            Psalm 40:17 – You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.

            As you can tell from these verses, what the Lord offers to David (and to you and me) is much more than just “a helping hand.”  The Lord comes to our aid…gives protection…listens with understanding…heals our hurts…pours out compassion and love.  Throughout the first third of the book of Psalms, David again and again draws near to His Lord for help.

            Where do you need God’s help this week?  In dealing with discouragement…helping a troubled friend…learning to love an unlovable co-worker…looking ahead to the future with faith?  Follow David’s example – look to your Savior God for He is your helper!

TGW for April 20-25

Monday, April 25, 2022  Read: Psalm 13  David teaches us an important lesson – in times of distress or despair, turn to the Lord and His Word.  Meditate and pray upon it.  The Holy Spirit will give you hope and restore Your confidence.  Pray: Holy Spirit, remind me this day of my heavenly Father’s love and protection for me and my loved ones.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

 

Tuesday, April 26, 2022  Read: Psalm 14  Some reject the existence of God, preferring to point to their own good works as being worthy of acclaim.  Verses 2-4 describe how completely God rejects any works done outside of faith in Him alone.  Pray: Thank You, O Lord, for my righteousness, holiness and redemption comes through faith in You alone.  Amen.  (based on 1 Corinthians 1:30)

 

Wednesday, April 27, 2022  Read: Psalm 15  The apostle James wrote that “I will show you my faith by what I do.”  This, too, is the point of the psalmist.  True faith produces righteous living.  Where do you see yourself in today’s reading?  Pray: Gracious God, I want to follow You alone.  But sometimes I struggle with this…

 

Thursday, April 28, 2022  Read: Psalm 16:1-6  Did you notice the heading, “A miktam of David?” A miktam is a “mystery poem,” meaning that it deals with the deepest mysteries of life and of our relationship with God.  Note: this is a Messianic Psalm.  Pray: Dear Father, I simply cannot understand why You are so gracious and kind to me.  I praise You for Your indescribable love and mercy.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.

 

Friday, April 29, 2022  Read: Psalm 16:7-11  Did you know that both Paul and Peter quote verses 9-11 in their letters? They do so in reference to the resurrection of Jesus as affirmation of the Savior who fulfills the promises made by David and the Old Testament prophets.  Pray: Lord Jesus, I praise and thank You for Your sacrificial death and victorious resurrection.  Guide me on the path that leads to eternal life.  Amen.

 

Saturday, April 30, 2022  Read: Psalm 17:1-9  David is confident that God will answer his prayer.  Why? Because of God’s disposition to love and care for His children.  Pray: Dear Lord, keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings.  Amen.    

Have you heard the one about...

 

The churches in town were all suffering from a squirrel problem.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they certainly should not interfere with God’s will.

 
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels really liked the slide and, unfortunately, all knew how to swim, so there were twice as many squirrels the following week.

 
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free behind the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.

 
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out bowls of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much vandalism a band of drunk squirrels can do.


The Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy—they baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church, so that now they only ever see them at Christmas and Easter.


The squirrel problem at the Jewish synagogue lasted about a half hour. They grabbed the first squirrel they saw and circumcised it. They haven’t seen another squirrel since.

What forgiveness does

 One of my favorite books is "The Hiding Place," the story of Corrie ten Boom and her family and the suffering they endured for hiding Jewish people in their home during World War 2.  She survive the concentration camps and became a popular speaker and writer.  I love how she turns a phrase.

 Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.  It is a  power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.  What a liberation when you can forgive.

From "Oh, How He Loves You."

The Word of the Law is Flawless

 

Psalm 18:30

As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless.  

            I can still remember the scene as if it took place yesterday.  The St. Louis Rams had just won the Super Bowl and Kurt Warner was being interviewed.  His words would be going out to a worldwide audience.  The interviewer asked, “Kurt, tell us how you felt after throwing the game-winning touchdown to Isaac Bruce?”

            Warner responded, “The first thing I’ve got to do is praise my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!”

            Wow!  What an uncommon athlete.  Warner gave glory to God rather than seek glory and acclaim for himself.  That’s what David does in Psalm 18.

            The subscription to this Psalm gives the reason for the writing of this song.  David was hunted by his enemies with the same intensity that a rabid football fan might seek an extra ticket for the Super Bowl.  King Saul, filled with jealously and rage, brought the power of the kingdom against David and his small group of followers.  Each time, God thwarted Saul’s plans to destroy David.  The evil king could never defeat the one – David – God had chosen to lead His people.

            David responds by writing a majestic song of praise to his Lord.  He points to God’s grace as the reason for his many escapes and triumphs.  David takes no credit for outfoxing Saul.  He does not boast of having a superior intelligence or battle tactics.  He sings, “I love you, O Lord, my strength.”  To the very end of the psalm, David keeps pointing to the grace and mercy of God as the reason for his success.

            Where has God surprised you with His grace?  When did you experience His mercy in an extraordinary way?  Was it when He sustained you through a difficult experience?  Was it when He removed you from a painful situation.  As you work through the psalm this week, think about the song of praise you could sing to the Lord.  You already have the opening verse: I love You, O Lord, my strength!