Top Ten Things Mom Would Never Say To You

10) "You ate the entire cake? That's OK.  I'll just make another."

9) "How on earth can you see the television sitting so far back? Move closer!"

8) "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too."

7) "Just leave all the lights on in the house.  It makes the place more cheery."

6) "Let me smell your shirt.  Yeah, it's good for another week."

5) "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, Honey.  I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."

4) "Well, if Timmy's Mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."

3) "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.  It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

2) "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind chill is bound to improve."

And the number one thing your Mom would never say to you:

1) "I don't have a tissue with me - just use your sleeve."

Culled from Homiletics Magazine

The Six Hardest Words to Say

It has been said that the six hardest words to say are, "I was wrong.  Please forgive me."  Many find it difficult to say these four words in return: "Yes, I forgive you.'

One of the lessons the little letter of Philemon can teach us is the importance of practicing forgiveness.  I call it "practicing" because a forgiving nature doesn't come naturally.

We can be hurt by the wrongs committed against us.  We might suffer loss.  We might feel pain.  We can be abandoned.  Our reputation might take an unjust hit.

The person inflecting such damage might come to their senses.  With sincerity of heart they approach you to seek reconciliation and forgiveness.  They speak the six hardest words to say.  How will you respond?

Perhaps you very quickly review "every good thing" you have in Christ Jesus.  You remember the humiliation of Christ: His immaculate conception and humble birth; His unjust suffering and His cruel death and burial,  You think of the price your Savior God paid so that you might receive forgiveness for the wrongs you've committed against the Holy God.  You remember the grace of God in your own life.  Then, through the power of the Holy Spirit, you extend the grace to the person who seeks forgiveness from you.

Reconciliation takes place between you and a friend, just as it did between Philemon and Onesimus.  It will take you less than 10 minutes to read Philemon.  Check it out.

A simple way to motivate your family

The loaded minivan pulled into the only remaining campsite.  Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent.  The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."

The father replied, "I have a system.  No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

From "Homiletics" magazine, May 2010, page 35

Ever close, Lord, abide with me

 

Abide with me

Abide with me, abide with me

 Don't let me fall and don't let go

Walk with me and never leave

 Ever close, God abide with me


Oh, love that will not ever let me go

 Love that will not ever let me go

You never let me go

 Love that will not ever let me go


And up ahead, eternity

 Weep no more, sing for joy

ABIDE WITH ME!


Thank you, Matt Maher, and others, for a song of comfort and hope.

Speaking of dogs...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's too hard to read.

A Groucho Marx quote from a t-shirt I saw for sale at Bookman's.

One Good Reason for Owning a Dog

Humorist Dave Berry provides the answer:

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "You're right! I never would have thought of that!" 

Top 10 Signs You're At A Bad Voters Meeting

Top Ten Signs You’re At A Bad Voters Meeting

10) The Secretary reads the “hours” of the last meeting.

9) The pastor’s opening devotion: “The Worker Is Worth His Hire or Why I Am Entitled To a Raise”

8) The President announces, “All in favor of approving the budget say “I.” “All those not in favor have five minutes to change their minds.”

7) The Elders budget includes a suspicious entry regarding a “prayer and fasting retreat at the Princess Resort.”

6) The Budget is printed in disappearing ink.

5) Proposed that all future voters meeting be held at Gila River Casino

4) The pastor’s budget includes a $2000 addition marked “Chick-fil-a”

3) It is moved that all voting should be declared at “Yes,” “No,” or “Over My Dead Body”

2) Voters change mission statement, “We Seek People For Jesus,” to “We’re Pretty Comfortable Just the Way We Are.”

And the number one sign that you’re at a bad voters meeting:

#1 No one shows up.