How to prepare a turkey (by a 7 year old)

My grandson was given the assignment: how do you prepare a turkey.  Please take note:

Buy a 10 foot live turkey at Walmart.  It should weigh about 11 pounds.  Bring it home from the store.  Name him Max.  Build a barn for him to live in.  You will need to feed him corn.

For Thanksgiving order an extra large cheese pizza from Barros.  Serve with Jelly Beens.

I am thankful for my family and new pet turkey, Max. 

Anita Crawford Memorial Sermom

 

Anita Crawford Memorial

            (Read from a greeting card)  Dear Anita, I have it on good authority that your portrait has a place of honor at the Greeting Cards Hall of Fame.  How many cards did you send over the years? Hundreds? A Thousand?  Sometimes the church believes it must think big to serve its members.  But you took something small – a greeting card – and made it into a big thing.  Making home visits folks would show me some of the cards you sent them.  A couple of people said, “I don’t even know this lady.”  It didn’t matter to you.  You, as you said, were blessed by God and grateful for His promises and so you were motivated to send these cards of encouragement.  We won’t soon forget how you touched our lives, Anita.  Love, Pastor Spicer.

St. Mark 8:28-31 reads: One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating.  Noticing that Jesus gave a good answer, he asked Him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’  ‘The most important one’ answered Jesus, is this – Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this, Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.’

The first command is to love the Lord with all you’ve got, your whole being.  God is worthy of such love.  He gives us everything we need.  He blesses us beyond what we can want or desire.  He treats us as a loving Father who cares for and loves his dear children.  He blesses but he disciplines.  He is always ready to hear us when we come to him with our fears, hurts and concerns. 

Joshua taught Israel that they could love God by doing four things.  First, walking in His ways, living each day being guided by His Holy Word.  Next, we love God by obeying His commands, in which he gives us His will for our lives.  We never need ask, “Lord, how shall I live?”  His commands teach us how. 

Then, we love God by holding fast to Him.  Interestingly, the verb ‘hold fast’ is the same verb found in Genesis 2:24 where a man is to cleave to his wife.”  To cleave to something is to come so close, so tight, that nothing can come between you and that thing or person. Loving God is to let nothing separate you from Him and His Word. 

Finally, we love God by serving Him with heart and soul.  The apostle Paul taught ‘whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.’  That means that whether you are a nurse in the ICU, the accountant for several small businesses, or the altar guild member who prepares the bread and wine for communion, we reflect His love, giving Him the glory and praise.

Love your neighbor.  Give respect and honor.  Provide protection from physical and emotional harm and danger.  Offer a defense when nasty or evil talk takes place.  Make sure your neighbor can keep what they have.  Very practical ways to love your neighbor.

The Scriptures are full of examples of neighbors showing love.  Abraham opened his home to traveling strangers; Ruth who was unwilling to separate from her mother-in-law;  The early church shared everything with one another.

Then there is Jesus’ parable about the Good Samaritan.  The Samaritan had every right to pass by the helpless and beaten man.  But he did not.  He cared for him, made sure he had a place to recover, paid for the cost of his care.  A perfect example of love.

Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Sounds so simple.  But you and I know how impossible it is.

And so, God loved us.  He sent Jesus to lovingly, willingly live a perfect life under the Law and then became the sacrifice for us who can’t keep the law perfectly.  Jesus showed us His great love for dying on the cross of Calvary, and rising on the third day, the perfect payment for our lack of love and sin.

Now, through Christ’s forgiveness and salvation, we are free to love God and love our neighbor.  That’s what Anita did.

No, she didn’t love perfectly.  Who among us can do that great thing.  But by what she said and what she did, Anita demonstrated her love for God and her love for her friends and neighbors.

She loved worshipping the Lord in this house.  She was here every Sunday until her health would let her come anymore.  I can still see her right over there (point to the right).  She sang the hymns, confessed her sins and received absolution, confessed the creed, listened to God’s Word, received the Holy Supper.

            She had a smile for everyone she met.  And she was happy to let people know how blessed and grateful she was to her Lord.  I miss hearing her say that but I won’t forget it.

            And those greeting cards.  What a wonderful way to bless and love your neighbor.  Sometimes those cards were given at anniversaries and special events.  And if it was your birthday, you might get a card mixed in among the best carmel corn known to man and I’ll debate that with anybody.  Was there ever a treat that was better than that?

            Then there were the cards that Anita sent that comforted those who were grieving, offered hope to the sick and suffering and provided encouragement for those who were going through a hard time.  Speaking personally, so often, when I was struggling in some way, one of her greeting cards would show up in our mail.  The cards gave me a lift when I needed it.  And I would guess that there are many here today that would say the same.

            So now we wait for a day when greeting cards will no longer be needed.  We will be gathered up by our Lord who will take us into heaven for a family reunion we can’t begin to imagine.  We will be with Jesus.  We will rub shoulders with our loved ones who proceeded us.

            And you, dear family, will recognize Anita.  You’ll hug each other and rejoice that all the pain and suffering of this life is in the past.  You’ll know each other in a greater way than you ever did before.  Best of all, we will see the One who moved us to want to love God fully and completely and to love our neighbors as we would be loved.

            Praise you, Lord Jesus.  Anita’s Savior and ours.  Amen. 

Our Christmas Movie Watch list

Last night my dear sweet wife asked how many Christmas movies we might watch this year.  We complied a list and here it is.

So in the next four weeks we'll be watching...

"The Nativity Story," a telling of Joseph and Mary's journey to Bethlehem.

"The Holiday" Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslett trade homes for the holidays.  

"Home Alone" While his family is in Paris, a young boy more than survives while outfoxing a couple of bumbling thieves.  Macaulay Culkin becomes a star!

"National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" I prefer the edited version of this film.  Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase) wants to have a good old family Christmas.  The results are disastrous.  

"Love Actually" This is Richard Curtis' best film with a great ensemble cast.

"A Charlie Brown Christmas" The word, "classic" is often overused.  But not in this case.  This is a classic, the best Christmas program you'll watch this season.  The producers did not want Linus to speak, word for word, the Christmas story found in Luke, chapter two.  Charles M. Schultz dug in his heals and insisted.  I'm glad he did.

And I'm sure we'll watch several Hallmark Movies although if you've seen one, it feels like you've seen them all.

Did I miss any? I hope you'll have the time to sit down with your family and friends and enjoy your favorite Christmas films.  Make sure there's plenty of popcorn!

Define "pride"

Define "pride" as the sinful nature to advance one's self.

Nathan R. Pope, "Motivation for Ministry," page 25

A real can of worms!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to the Sunday sermon.  Four worms were placed in four separate jars.

The first worm was placed in a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the minister reported the following results:

The first worm in the alcohol - dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.

The third worm in chocolate syrup - dead.

The fourth worm in good clean soil - alive.

So the minister asked the congregation what they could learn from the demonstration.

A elderly woman was sitting in the back.  She quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!

That pretty much ended the service!

From "Lighten Up and Live" by Ken Davis, BroadStreet Books 

Humility is...

True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.

C.S. Lewis, from "Mere Christianity"

Top 10 Failed Christian Reality Shows

10) "A Healing Service Sent Me to the ER"

9) "American Horror Story - Accordion Praise and Worship"

8) "So You Think You Can Save Yourself"

7) "PU to PLI"

6) "Total Divas - Pastor's Wives Edition"

5) "Say Yes to the Alb"

4) "Gordon Ramsey's Potluck Nightmares"

3) "My Strange Addiction to Communion Wafers"

2) "Keeping Up with the Olsteens"

And the number one failed Christian TV reality show:

1) "Real Housewives of the ELCA"