Worry is...

Worry is dealing with tomorrow's problems on today's pasture.

Anon.

A Prayer of Confession

Back in 1948, Concordia Publishing House printed what they called "The Devotional Bible," a two volume set of devotional readings of the Gospels.  The devotions included a prayer and this particular one seemed to be meaningful for me on the day I read it because I wrote in down in my journal.  The prayer went like this:

O Lord, for Jesus' sake, remake me day after day, creating in me a clean heart.  I confess my sins to You.  They have bruised and wounded my soul.  You alone can blot all these wrongs and transgressions through Christ.  Make me acceptable to You and grant that every word and act of mine may please You.  Then You shall be the praise in Christ Jesus forevermore.  Amen. 

"And if we tire, you'll carry us"

May Your good Word be fulfilled in us so we hurry on our way without giving up and travel on without being tired.  And if we tire, you'll carry us.  Take us by the hand and lead us forward.  You're loyal, and your loyalty is our hope and our strength.

From To Live With Christ, page 618 

Luther on the 8th Commandment

For there is nothing on or in a person that can do both greater and more extensive good or harm in spiritual and in temporal matters than the tongue.  This is true even though it is the least and weakest part of a person (James 3:5).

From The Large Catechism 

Before the Lord death is not death at all

 (Regarding the story of the Widow of Nain in Luke, chapter 7)

For here we have the example.  The son of the widow is dead; he has lost the gift of hearing and all other senses.  

But when Christ speaks to him, he hears.  This is certainly a strange and wonderful incident.  He that does not hear, hears; and he that does not live, lives.  Nothing is done but that Christ opens His mouth and bids him arise.  The single word is so powerful that death has to vanish and life returns.

Before the Lord death is not death at all.  For us it is called and is death when we die.  But before God it is a light sleep which could not be any lighter.

Martin Luther, quoted in "Treasury of Daily Prayer," page 228

You might be a preacher if...

You'd rather negotiate with terrorist than the organist

A church picnic is no picnic 

You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregational search committee

You've ever wanted to give the sound tech some feedback of your own

You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon and you weren't thinking about praying for him

You often feel like you're herding mules rather than shepherding sheep

You've wanted to use the children's message to send a message to the congregation

You've wanted to announce your vacation with the words "Hasta la Vista, Baby!"

You've love a shock device to use to wake sleeping ushers

You've wanted to impeach the congregational president

From Adventures in Preaching

So you want to be a sports talk show host?

I've had the opportunity to listen to the big sports talk station in town this week and I've discovered a few simple steps for hosting a sports talk program.  It's really pretty simple so if you've ever listened to such programs and thought to yourself, "Hey! I could do this!" I urge you to put these three steps into practice and soon you'll be rubbing elbows with Dan Patrick and Bob Costas and, well, probably not.

First, learn to repeat every sentence you say at least three times.

Say something like, "The Suns did not show up to play tonight." Then say it again.  Say it one more time.  Apparently, those who listen to sports talk program aren't very swift so you've got to repeat your points over and over again until the listener gets what you're saying.

(Or maybe the host is not very swift and simply repeats stuff over and over again because they've got no real insight or analysis to offer.  Nah - that's couldn't be true, right?) 

Ah, but repetition in and of itself is not enough!

Second, as you repeat every sentence three times, crank up the volume!!

Let me try and demonstrate (you can't hear me so use your imagination, OK?)

"The Suns did not show up to play tonight.  The Suns Did Not Show Up To Play Tonight!  THE SUNS DID NOT SHOW UP TO PLAY TONIGHT!!!!!"

Cranking up the volume proves that you are a passionate sports talk show host and we sports fans are nothing if not passionate about our teams and their performance.

Third, remind your audience over and over again that you were at the game.

I guess this lets your listeners know that you weren't watching the game from the comfort of your living room where with all the good camera angles and instant replay, you can see the game much better than at a seat in the stadium.  You were there at the game! That must lend more creditability to what you say.

So, say something like, "You're right, I was at that game and the Suns did not show up to play.  No way did they play hard.  I was there and the Suns didn't show up.  I was there at that game and the Suns did not show up, no way! I WAS THERE AT THE GAME AND THE SUNS DID NOT SHOW UP!" (a good use of rules 2 and 3).

Now I know that there are only a few sports talk show hosting opportunities out there so maybe you can use these rules where you work.  If you're a pastor, use them in the pulpit: (The devil fooled Adam and Eve.  The Devil Fooled Adam And Eve! THE DEVIL FOOLED ADAM AND EVE!!!)

Or maybe you can apply the rules with your fellow employees: (I was there at the meeting and our benefits have been frozen.  They're frozen! I was there.  I heard it with my own two ears.  I WAS THERE AT THE MEETING!!!)

Of course, should you apply these three rules to your place of work, you might run the risk of having happen to you what I did to the sports talk station.

Tune it out.

From  April 2013