10)If you don’t stop this praise band stuff I’m going to set the guitars and drums on fire!
9) Why in the
world did we build a pulpit if you won’t use it? Stand still!
8) I don’t like
your attempts at humor on Sunday. And by
the way, I don’t like your haircut either!
7) Do something
about the rude ushers. I’m sure one of
them stood over me and wouldn’t move until I put another dollar in the
collection plate.
6) How much
extra is it costing this church to have the custodian vacuum up all the
cheerios left behind by those noisy kids?
5) I have a
complaint about the free donuts you serve each Sunday. I hate Dunkin Donuts. Get them from someplace else!
4) Have you
seen the Sunday school rooms? They are a mess! If the children can’t keep them
neat and clean, we should just cancel Sunday school!
3) Do you
always have to preach from the Gospel lesson every Sunday? There are other
people in the Bible to talk about besides Jesus!
2) Can you get
the organist to play faster? She sounds like a 45 rpm record being played at
33!
1) I’m tired of
all this preaching about evangelism. You
should tailor your preaching to those in the church who pay the bills!
