Top Ten Signs Your Pastor Is Playing Too Much Golf

10) Refers to the Sanctuary as "the clubhouse."

9) Announces that his clergy apparel is sponsored by Nike, GE, and American Express.

8) During children's message has the kids critique his putting technique.

7) Visitors to his office are offered coffee or an "Arnold Palmer."

6) Replaces carpet in the narthex with a putting green.

5) Refuses to remove his "Titleist" cap during worship.

4) Can't decide if he wants to visit Wittenberg, the home of the reformation or St. Andrews, the home of golf.

3) Bulletin mistakes are called "bogeys."

2) Identifies five new mission fields for the church.  Coincidentally, they are all golf courses.

And the number one sign that the pastor is playing too much golf:

1) Regrets that he named his first born son, "Tiger." 

Excuses, excuses

Did your parents ever have to write a note to a school teacher asking that you be excused from class? My dear, sweet wife bought me a devotional book from author and humorist, Ken Davis, that offered some really funny notes from parents. 

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take physical education today.  Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent.  She was sick and I had her shot.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

And my favorite:

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it was Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 

O give me a pity, I'm on a committee

A number of years ago I came across a poem that seemed to capture the frustration that sometimes comes when serving on a committee.  Maybe you can relate.  It went something like this:

O give me a pity, I'm on a committee, Which means that from morning to night...We attend and amend and contend and defend, Without a conclusion in sight.

We confer and concur, we defer and demur, And reiterate all of our thoughts...We revise the agenda with frequent addenda, And consider a load of reports.

We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose, And the points of procedure are fun...But though various notions are brought up a motions, There's terribly little gets done.

We resolve and absolve, but never dissolve, Since it's out of the question for us...What a shattering pity to end our committee, Where else could we make such a fuss!

He is no fool...

"He is no fool who gives up that which he could never keep to gain that which he can never loose."

Jim Elliot

What happens when Jesus comes again?

But Jesus says He is coming.  When He does, it will not be as a judge to strike terror into my sinful heart.  He comes as the "Son of Man," a term Jesus loved to use of Himself.  That expression directs my eyes to a manger of straw, a cross of pain, a grave of victory.  He's the One who came earlier to shoulder my sins, die my death, fill my grave.  That's my Savior who's coming.

"Together With Jesus," November 26 devotion

Top Ten Church Staff Excuses

In going through some old blog posts I discovered that back in 2015 I posted a number of Top Ten Lists - kind of like David Letterman's Top Ten Lists.  So, for the next number of Friday's I'll be reprinting some of the lists.

10) Choir director: "We thought a country-western version of 'A Mighty Fortress is Our God' would go over well."

9) Fellowship chairperson: "I thought everyone would like liverwurst on a stick."

8) Nursery attendant: "I'm allergic to crying children."

7) Secretary: "Proof reading is not one of my spiritual gifts."

6) Organist: "I don't chose the hymns.  I just play the hymns."

5) Custodian: "I didn't think anyone would object to a tip jar on the bathroom counters."

4) Usher: "How was I suppose to know that that was their personal private pew?"

3) Associate Pastor: "It was the Senior Pastor's idea."

2) Senior Pastor: "It was the Associate Pastor's idea."

And the number one church staff excuse:

1) Youth leader: I guess the teenagers really should have been locked in

The Lord has our back!

Becky Brown is a friend of mine.  I got to know her through one of our former members at Life in Christ.

When a grandchild was born with numerous health issues her world was rocked.  She spent much time in prayer and devouring the Scriptures.  Through study and prayer she says God gave her insight into this challenge.  

In an email she wrote: "The Lord doesn't waste opportunities for growth (and I am praying that I don't either).  There are always purposes behind what we go through."

God doesn't always reveal why He allows the problems and disappointments that take place in our lives.  But He promises to be with us and that nothing can separate us from His love.

Where do you see opportunities for growth in your life? 

How to deal with critical people

While going through one of my journals this morning I came across this good advice from former NBA basketball coach Jeff Van Gundy: Do not take criticism from people you  wouldn't take advice from. 

My World Cup Fever Has Reached a Fever Pitch!

Every four years it rolls around.  It captures the attention of the world.  Even America is learning to love soccer ("football" every where else in the world)!

This year's World Cup started with 48 teams with countries from all over the world.  The USA, Canada and Mexico served as hosts.  The first match began on June 11 and  the tourney finally reaches its conclusion tomorrow.  Spain and Argentina will vie to raise the cup in front of their multitude of fans.  Both countries will be well represented.

Spain are the favorites.  They feature one of the best players in the world in Rodri and one of the best young players in Lamine Yamal.  And Argentina has the GOAT (Greatest Player of All Time), Leo Messi.  Any team that features Messi cannot be counted out.  I won't be surprise if Argentina finds a way to victory.  They would be the only team in decades to lift the trophy in consecutive World Cups.

I fell in love with soccer in 2005.  I suppose I was like most Americans - I thought soccer is boring, no team ever scores, all they do is kick the ball back and forth, etc.  But then I started watching more closely.  I discovered that these athletes are in amazing condition - some run 13 to 15 miles in a single match.  How they can control the ball by using their hands is a marvel.  To watch a team move the ball down the pitch, utilizing short, accurate passes until the ball is passed in the box and kicked into the net is a marvelous thing to see.  

Tomorrow I preach two services and conduct a Bible class in Paw Paw, Michigan.  When the last hymn is sung, my dear, sweet wife and I will head back home, change clothes and celebrate my Son-in-Law's birthday.  And we'll sit right in front of the tv and watch Argentina beat Spain 3-2!

Well, I can dream, cant' I?

"Death is but a sleep"

"Thus before our Lord God, death is not death but a sleep.  For us, when we die it is and is termed death, but before God is it but a sleep and a very light sleep at that."

Martin Luther, as quoted in "Thank, Praise, Serve, Obey" page 158 

What does the word "confess" mean?

The word, "confess," means to speak the same thing as God does about our sin.

William Weedon, "Thank, Praise, Serve and Obey," page 75 

What faith does

Faith can transform reason, but nothing can be as unreasonable as unbelief.

Frank Starr, "Light for the Way," book 4, page 20

My book is off to the printer!

In the spring I reached an agreement with Westbow Press to self-publish my first book - "Hope Upon Hope - Encouraging Words When Your Life Needs a Lift."

Westbow has very specific instructions for self-publishing; I didn't know there would be so much detail - size of book, size of font, cover work, inside design and the list goes on and on.  

First stop for the book is the Content Department; they will make sure that the material I've wrote is in keeping with their editorial guidelines.  From there it will go to Design and when they have put together a mock up of the book, I'll get a chance to review and make sure I'm satisfied with what they've done.  After that the book gets printed and the finished product will land on my doorstep.  I must say, I can't wait to see how all this turns out.

Westbow has an online store from which the book can be purchased.  There is a possibility that the book will be available on Amazon.  I'll know more about distribution in a few months.

I thank the Lord for this opportunity and my dear, sweet wife for her belief that I should move forward with getting my book published.  I'll keep you friendly readers posted on its progress.

Martin Luther's Morning Prayer for Children

Thank you God, through Your dear Son

That with the Spirit, three in one

You kept me safe all through the night

And I awoke to see the light

Be with me throughout the day

Let nothing evil pass my way

This life on earth, I live for You

My soul and body and all things

I trust to You, You are my King

Your holy angels keep me near

The evil one I will not fear

Amen. 

Note: I haven't been able to confirm that Luther actually wrote the above prayer.  It may be that someone else took Luther's Morning Prayer, found in the Catechism, and wrote a simple version that children could memorize and use.

Why do we want more?

It's silly, isn't it, to think that if we just accumulate enough "stuff" (whatever kind of stuff you like) we'll somehow be happy and content with our lives.  I've had some interaction with "stuff" and "stuff" has never comforted me when I've been sad or offered wise advice when I was troubled.

In the Large Catechism, Martin Luther brings the focus back to where it should be - to God.

What more would you have or desire than God so kindly promising to be yours with every blessing and to protect and help you in all need.

1st Commandment, paragraph 41 

No nobler prayer

"Therefore, there is no nobler prayer to be found upon earth than the Lord's Prayer.  We pray it daily (Matt. 6:11) because it has this excellent testimony, that God loves to hear it.  We ought not to surrender this for all the riches of the world.

Martin Luther, "Large Catechism," part 3, para. 23, "Concordia, The Lutheran Confessions" 

How to defy gravity

 "Let our Father be in heaven; join Him there through your words.  Defy gravity and stand beside Him.  That's the action of God in prayer."

The sainted Daniel Paavola, "Our Way Home," page 37