It's back - The Friday Funny

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place.

While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law, unfortunately killing her instantly.

At the funeral service, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by.

The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head “yes” and say something.

Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head “no” and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy,’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘You wanna sell that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year’.” 

To touch the face of God

39 years ago I was in Salt Lake City, Utah overseeing work at the radio station my partners and I owned.  I got a call from my partner and I was expecting him to ask me about a presentation I had made to a prospective client.  Instead, he told me to turn on the television to any channel.  I saw the plum of smoke in the sky and heard the awful news - the Challenger Space Shuttle had exploded.

I suppose most everyone remembers where they were that day.  I felt shock and unbelief.  How could this happen?  Later that night, President Ronald Reagan address the nation.  Never was there a Comforter in Chief than on that night.  The text of his speech follows:

January 28, 1986

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd planned to speak to you tonight to report on the state of the Union, but the events of earlier today have led me to change those plans. Today is a day for mourning and remembering. Nancy and I are pained to the core by the tragedy of the shuttle Challenger. We know we share this pain with all of the people of our country. This is truly a national loss.

Nineteen years ago, almost to the day, we lost three astronauts in a terrible accident on the ground. But we've never lost an astronaut in flight; we've never had a tragedy like this. And perhaps we've forgotten the courage it took for the crew of the shuttle. But they, the Challenger Seven, were aware of the dangers, but overcame them and did their jobs brilliantly. We mourn seven heroes: Michael Smith, Dick Scobee, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Gregory Jarvis, and Christa McAuliffe. We mourn their loss as a nation together.

For the families of the seven, we cannot bear, as you do, the full impact of this tragedy. But we feel the loss, and we're thinking about you so very much. Your loved ones were daring and brave, and they had that special grace, that special spirit that says, ``Give me a challenge, and I'll meet it with joy.'' They had a hunger to explore the universe and discover its truths. They wished to serve, and they did. They served all of us. We've grown used to wonders in this century. It's hard to dazzle us. But for 25 years the United States space program has been doing just that. We've grown used to the idea of space, and perhaps we forget that we've only just begun. We're still pioneers. They, the members of the Challenger crew, were pioneers.

And I want to say something to the schoolchildren of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle's takeoff. I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave. The Challenger crew was pulling us into the future, and we'll continue to follow them.

I've always had great faith in and respect for our space program, and what happened today does nothing to diminish it. We don't hide our space program. We don't keep secrets and cover things up. We do it all up front and in public. That's the way freedom is, and we wouldn't change it for a minute. We'll continue our quest in space. There will be more shuttle flights and more shuttle crews and, yes, more volunteers, more civilians, more teachers in space. Nothing ends here; our hopes and our journeys continue. I want to add that I wish I could talk to every man and woman who works for NASA or who worked on this mission and tell them: ``Your dedication and professionalism have moved and impressed us for decades. And we know of your anguish. We share it.''

There's a coincidence today. On this day 390 years ago, the great explorer Sir Francis Drake died aboard ship off the coast of Panama. In his lifetime the great frontiers were the oceans, and an historian later said, ``He lived by the sea, died on it, and was buried in it.'' Well, today we can say of the Challenger crew: Their dedication was, like Drake's, complete.

The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and ``slipped the surly bonds of earth'' to ``touch the face of God.'' 

The Greatest Distance in the World

 Read this great devotion this morning and wanted to share it with you.

What's the greatest distance in the world? Not the miles across the Atlantic or down to Antarctica, but the distance between the human head and heart.  Those 18 inches are the most difficult in the world.  Why? Because only God the Holy Spirit can travel them.  Millions hear about Jesus Christ as their only Savior, but only some believe.  The rest shake their heads in rejection or nod in seeming approval, only to go their own ways.  Their ears have heard but not their hearts.

What about me? Can I say with my heart, "Jesus is my Savior whom God raised from the dead?" Can I say with conviction: "His death counted for me.  His resurrection assures my resurrection.  Because He lives, I also will live, body and soul, in heaven some day?" Then thank God the Holy Spirit.  Through the gospel he carried the message from my head to my heart.  My faith is His gift.  Through that gospel He still works when my faith wavers to bridge the distance between head and heart.

The Spirit helps me travel another distance, the one between my heart and mouth.  When Jesus has moved from my head to my heart, then he'll also move from my heart to my mouth.  I'll proclaim gladly what I believe and thank Him for it.  I'll tell others what I believe and ask them to join me.  By God's grace it'll be head to heart to mouth, with the name of Jesus my precious Savior.

Richard E. Lauersdorf
"Together with Jesus - Daily Devotions for a Year"
Northwestern Publishing House

From January 2012

Well, I made it through "Quitters Friday"

I didn't know this until recently that the second Friday of January is known as Quitters Friday.  This is because, on average, any New Year's Resolution that is made on January 1st will be broken by the second Friday of the New Year.

On January 5th I started Weight Watchers.  I had gotten too heavy.  Pictures showed the truth - I was getting fat! I decided that something had to be done.  Weight Watchers had been helpful to me in the past so I have given it another try.

Now, January 17th should have been Quitters Friday for me.  But I powered right past it.  And I've kept going.  Monday is my weigh-in day and so far I've lost 4 pounds.  Doesn't sound like much.  But I've noticed that some slacks that had become too tight fit a little bit better now.  

Someone told me that because I'm older the weight isn't going to fall as fast as when I was younger.  At this point all I want to see is some progress.  So, I've got my head down and I'm going to keep powering through.  And keep walking past all the goodies my dear, sweet wife keeps around the house! 

Bad Times in Nazareth, Staring Jesus!

Jesus' return to Nazareth didn't go too well.  In fact, the folks wanted to kill Him.  People He had known all his life wanted to throw Him off a cliff.  They didn't know what they wanted.  But Jesus knew what they really needed.  Learn more tomorrow at Christ the Redeemer, 43rd Avenue and Olive in Phoenix.  Service begins at 9 am.  Have a great weekend!

Here's the Friday Funny!

By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. “Why are you so late?” asked his friend. “I couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin,” said Bobby. “But that shouldn’t have taken too long.” said the friend. “Well, I had to toss it 35 times.” 

Satan's Goal

Reading a great Old Testament survey book written by John Jeske, a WELS pastor and professor.  I really appreciated this paragraph:

(Satan's goal) is to rob us of our thankfulness for God's good gifts.  If it was within Satan's power, he wouldn't let us have a single piece of bread, not a single penny of income, not even a single hour of life.  But since that's not in his power, he'll try to rob us of God's blessings by making us ungrateful and unappreciative of them.

Isn't that what Satan did to the Israelites? They had God's constant attention and protection, they received everything they needed and more from God's gracious hand, and still they grumbled and complained.  God has done the same for you and me.  If an ancient Israelite could be thrust into our world, the Israelite wouldn't believe it - we have so much! Yet, how often are we prone to grumble about the stuff we don't have or the stuff that someone else has? 

Don't fall prey to the devil's evil schemes.  Let this prayer be on your lips today: Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His mercy endures forever!  Amen

From January 2012.

Promises, Promises

A number of commentator noted the many promises President Trump made during his inaugural speech yesterday.  It was exciting to hear him put forward a positive vision of America.  But I would image that his critics will be all over him if he fails to deliver on the promises he made.

It caused me to reflect on Jesus and the promises we find in Him - forgiveness of all our sins...the certain hope of eternal life...His presence in the Holy Supper...answers to prayer...the Holy Spirit...new life today and for eternity...to only name a few.

While we wait to see how President Trump makes good on his promises, aren't we blessed that we have One who delivers on all His promises? Yes!

Washed Downstream

This is a devotion posted on the WELS App for January 17.  It is a short but masterful writing on what Baptism does for a person.

Titus 3:5 - He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

On November 19, 1854, the legendary Texas general, Sam Houston, was baptized.  He was known  as a brutish man, a rabble-rouser and a heavy drinker.  Apparently, his wife, Margaret, had been praying  for 14 years that he would get baptized.  As the story goes, after Sam Houston came up from the baptismal waters of a river in Texas, one of his friends said, "Well, General, all your sins have been washed away."  Houston replied, "If that be the case, God help the fish downstream...."

We could technically all say the same thing.  At our baptisms, a whole lot of filth got washed off of us.  Every sin we'd ever committed and every sin we'd commit in the future received a cleansing on that day.  That's a lot of sin.  But it's gone now.  It's washed downstream.  This washing by the Holy Spirit has saved you.  By your baptism, you've been tied into the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus.  You died dwith Christ and now also live with Christ.

The two words Paul uses in this verse to describe your baptism are "rebirth" and "renewal."  To be "reborn" means to be given new life.  At baptism, the "old you" was a slave to sin, but you've been set free now.  It's like you get to start your life over now as someone born into God's family.

You've also been "renewed."  You see the word new in that word.  At baptism, you were given a "new self."  This new self wants to please God and live in harmony with him.  The old self of sin wants to rebel against God, but in your baptism, that old self is drowned.  The new self now rises each day to live with Christ.

So, live every day as the reborn and renewed child of God that you are.  You've been washed clean!

It's the Friday Funny!

 A church had a picnic and invited the entire community to come. The Pastor placed a basket full of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, "Take only one apple please - Remember that God is watching."

On the other end of the table was a plate of cookies where one of the children had placed a sign saying, "Take all the cookies you want -- God is watching the apples."

Come On In!

 This is the devotion I plan to share tomorrow at our Bible class during our service with the Lord's Supper.

            The other day a friend shared with me a story about a man who suddenly died.  Just like that, the fellow finds himself standing before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

            The fellow attempts to walk through the gates but Peter says, “Hey Buddy! Not so fast!  You need 100 points to make it into heaven.  Here’s what we’re going to do.  You tell me all the good things that you’ve done and I’ll give you a certain number of points, depending on how good it was.  When we’re done, if you’ve got at least 100 points you’re in.”

            The fellow shrugged his shoulders and said, “OK.”  He didn’t realize this is how things worked in heaven but he was willing to give it a try.  “First,” said the fellow, “I was married to the same woman for 55 years and I never cheated on her once, not even in my heart.”  St. Peter exclaimed, “That’s wonderful! That’s worth three points!”

            The fellow was taken aback.  Only three points for marital faithfulness? But he kept going.  “St. Peter, you should also know that I attended church and Bible class all my life.  And I always gave 10% of my income back to my church.  My pastor knew he could count on my tithe.”  St. Peter responded, “I’m impressed! That an additional two points!”

            Now the fellow started to sweat.  All he had was a total of five points and he was running out of good deeds to share with St. Peter.  Then he remembered something that he thought should be worth a lot of points.  “St. Peter,” said the fellow, “here’s something else I’m proud of.  I started a soup kitchen in my city.  We served over 200 meals a day!” St. Peter responded, “That’s terrific!  Another two points for you!”

            The fellow was flabbergasted.  All his good works had amounted to only seven points.  He cried out, “At this rate, the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!”  And St. Peter answered, “Come on in.”

            Well, I hope that story gave you a little chuckle.  More importantly, I hope you understand its important truth.  If there were a point system to gain entry into heaven, none of us could every amass enough points to please God.  He expects our works to be perfect.  His standard is that we keep all of his commands.  God wants nothing less than perfect holiness from us.

            Who of us can please God in that way? Not you.  Not me.  Still, there is a way for you and me to one day be welcomed through the gates of heaven.  It’s by grace, God’s grace.

            The apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

            Grace – God’s Riches at Christ’s Expense.  God’s riches of salvation and eternal life come to us as a free gift at Christ’s expense.  His shed blood on the cross was full payment for our failure to keep God’s commands in our life.  Through faith in Jesus’ sacrificial death and resurrection, all these gifts of God are yours.  You never have to worry about having St. Peter survey your life and finding out you fall short.  Jesus has made it possible for you to one day hear and accept that gracious invitation to come on in.  Praise your Lord and Savior today.

A little lighter on the bathroom scale

A week ago today I joined Weight Watchers.  I knew I needed to do something.  Pictures don't lie.  The pictures taken of me over the summer looked like I has swallowed a couple of basketballs.  T-shirts that I though hung loosely on me did not.  As much as anything they told the sad truth.  I needed to lose some weight.

I've tried to lose weight on my own.  For a couple of days I do pretty well.  But then I see the bag of chips in the pantry or the chocolate candy in the dish in the living room and I scrapped the diet.  And before I knew it I was right back eating all the stuff I wanted (but probably didn't need) and I was maintaining my regular (translated - heavy) weight.

So, I followed the Weight Watchers program.  I received my daily point total.  Some folks don't like tracking what they eat and applying the points to the food.  But it works for me.  And after one week it's working so far - down two pounds from my original weigh-in weight.

Paul says our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.  I have to imagine the Spirit has been feeling pretty squeezed for a long time.  So we'll see how this week goes.  But doesn't it feel good when you're making some progress on a goal you've set?

In the meantime my new mantra is apples and carrots and grapes, oh my!

Dead to Sin, Alive to God

Such an interesting term.  What does Paul mean? And what does Baptism have to do with it? Learn more at the Sunday service at Christ the Redeemer in Phoenix.  Worship starts at 9 am.  If you don't have a church then come and join us! Blessings! 

It's the Friday funny!

After service, a stranger approached the pastor and said, “I’d like you to pray for my hearing.”

The pastor touched the man’s ears and said a passionate, earnest prayer.

“How’s your hearing now?” the pastor asked.

Surprised, the man said, “Well, it’s not until tomorrow.”

Rhetorical violence in our country

I am presently reading "The Betrayal of Anne Frank."  I was only a couple of pages into the book when I came across the following two paragraphs.  They seemed to described present day conditions.

You might wonder: What is the point of questioning who betrayed Anne Frank in a war that happened so long ago? The answer is that almost eight decades since the end of the war, we seem to have grown complacent, thinking, as the Dutch once thought, that it can't happen here.  But contemporary society seems to be increasingly susceptible to ideological divisiveness and the lure of authoritarianism, forgetting the simple truth that incipient fascism metastasizes if allowed to go unchecked.

Anne Frank's world makes this clear.  What are the real tools of war? Not just physical violence but rhetorical violence.  In attempting to determine how Adolf Hitler had taken control, the US Office of Strategic Services commissioned a report in 1943 that explained his strategy: Never to admit a fault or wrong; never to accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time; blame the enemy for everything that goes wrong; take advantage of every opportunity to raise a political whirlwind.  Soon hyperbole, extremism, defamation, and slander become commonplace and acceptable vehicles of power. (page 13)

As I've pondered the above, I can't help but believe that rhetorical violence has been thrust upon our country over the past four years.  The Biden administration has never admitted a wrong, even when it was clear the Afghanistan pull out was completely botched up; blame is never accepted, a recent example is Chuck Schumer, after being confronted with visual evidence of President Biden's mental deterioration, denied that there was never anything really wrong with the President; who has been the enemy for the past four years, and even before that? Donald Trump.  Anything bad that has happened to our country is his fault alone; the J6 issue seemed to be the perfect opportunity for Democrats to create a political whirlwind.  Instead, the country basically rejected the hysteria being made, instead if having had enough of rising inflation, DEI run amok, and a world on fire in many places.  And beside, the country survived.

Since starting this blog back in 2011, I've purposedly stayed away from politics.  But the above paragraphs were frightening to me since it seems like what happened in the 1930's and 40's is happening again.  Will God grant us political and moral leaders who will prevent another catastrophe from happening - this time in our country?

2024 Reading List

Retirement gives me much more time to read and this year I polished 43 books.  I don't write this with much fanfare.  I know folks who read 75 or even 100 or more books.  Still, I made through about three and a half books a month which is pretty good.  I'm looking forward to topping my record this year.

I have come to really love a good murder mystery.  This year I discovered Anthony Horowitz, a British author who had come up with a really interesting idea for a series.  He has fashioned a former detective named Hawthorne who is something like a modern day Sherlock Holmes.  Like Holmes, Hawthorne never misses a detail and sees a crime scene differently than every one else.  The kicker is this - Horowitz has inserted himself into the stories!  Horowitz is kind of like a poor man's Dr. Watson.  All the mysteries are set in England which I like.  A sixth book in the series is supposed to come out this year so I'm looking forward to more Hawthorne/Horowitz mysteries to continue.

Another author I really enjoyed reading is Kristin Harmel.  She writes stories that are set around France in World War 2.  The stories are extremely well researched and she has an amazing ability to communicate just how difficult and heartbreaking Hitler's march into Europe was, especially for Jewish people.  I would recommend "The Winemaker's Wife," "The Paris Daughter," or "The Book of Lost Names," to get you started.

One book that was a real delight was Christopher Kennedy's "Jesus Said What?"  Kennedy takes some of the more difficult texts surrounding the earthly ministry of Jesus, ones that pastors find challenging to preach on and unpacks them.  For example, Kennedy takes Luke 14:25-30, 33 - the texts where Jesus says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."  Explain that! Well, Kennedy does so and in a very engaging way.  (You'll have to read the book to find out what Jesus is really saying).  Each chapter concludes with discussion questions so the book would be good for a Bible study group.

Other books that receive an "A" from me were: Bret Baier, "To Rescue the Constitution," Erik Larson, "Dead Wake," and "The Demon of Unrest," and the J.R. Mathis & Susan Mathis' "Penitent Priest" series.

My friend, Fred, gave me four books for Christmas so I'm starting with an author I've enjoyed reading, Daniel Silva.  I'm only a few pages into "A Death in Cornwall," but it's shaping up to be a good read.  Hope you find a least one book this year that you can't put down! 

Where do we find joy?

Here's the secret: if we seek joy for its own sake, we will not find it.  If we seek Jesus, we shall be engulfed and inundated by joy, and quite by surprise.

Matthew Harrison
"A Little Book on Joy"

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