Many years ago I sat through a rant by a pastor who said he was sick of the question, "How are you doing?"
"Why do people ask that question? Do they really care? Do they really care how I'm doing? What if I tell them how I'm really doing? What if I tell them that I'm depressed or angry or unhappy? Do they really want to hear how I'm doing or are they just being polite?"
After his rant, I resolved to never ask him how he was doing.
I'm working my way through Max Lucado's new book, "You'll Get Through This." Lucado seems to release a new book every year about the time of my birthday and my in-laws are always so kind to give me his books as gifts.
As I got to page 30, I was a bit surprised to read a personal story about Lucado's wife, Denalyn. Seems that there was a time when she was dealing with depression. It was a very difficult time in her life and going to church was challenging because most everyone wants to ask the pastor's wife, "How are you doing?" Lucado writes: ...she armed herself with honesty and went to church. If people ask me how I am doing, I'm going to tell them. She answered each...with a candid, "Not well. I'm depressed. Will you pray for me?"
Causal chats became long conversations. Brief hellos became heartfelt moments of ministry. By the time she left the worship service, she had enlisted dozens of people to hold up her arms in the battle of prayer. She traces the healing of her depression to that Sunday morning service. She found God's presence amid God's people.
There is no doubt that some folks ask, "How are you doing?" without much thought. They're just making chit-chat. And there are some people who have such difficult or pressing problems of their own that you probably don't want to share with them a particular problem you're dealing with.
But I've learned that most of the time, when someone asks me, "How are you today?" they're asking because they're concerned. They want to know. They're interested. And I'll bet if I answered, "Just between you and me, I'm really frustrated today. Would you mind praying for me? I need the Lord's help getting through this service," that person would pray with me and for me.
And it's comforting to know that people are praying for us, isn't it? It's a blessing to know that we are loved and that others care for us. It seems to me that it's worth the risk - at the right time and with the right person to answer with honesty the question, "How are you doing?"
