A friend passed along the following to me and I think it's only fair that I pass it along to you. Enjoy (I hope)...
Good news: The Lutheran Women's Missionary League voted to send you a get-well card. Bad news: The motion passed 31-30.
Good news: You finally found a choir director who takes the same approach to music as you do. Bad news: The choir quit.
Good news: Mrs. Smith is wild about your sermons. Bad news: Mrs Smith is wild about "Real Housewives of New York City...Orange County...Atlanta...New Jersey...."
Good news: The women's softball team finally won a game. Bad news: They clobbered the men's softball team.
Good news: The Elders voted to send you to the Holy Land. Bad news: They gave you a one-way ticket.
And finally...
Good news: Church attendance rose dramatically over the past three weeks. Bad news: You were on vacation.
