I was looking through the CBD catalog last week and I was struck by the multitude of pages devoted to the sale of Bibles. I remember way back when, as they say, that the only choices you had with buying a Bible was getting one with or without the concordance. But now, wow! There are study Bibles, thin-line Bibles, giant print Bibles, the archaeology Bible, the counseling Bible, the Max Lucado study notes Bible, the Chuck Swindoll study notes Bible and on and on it goes. And that's not counting the variety of Bibles you can download on your favorite mobile device. So, with all of that in mind, here's a list that you can use to guide you when you purchase your next Bible.
10) Renames the Epistle of James, "The Book of Straw"
9) In a startling switch, the words of Satan are printed in "hellish red"
8) Pontius Pilot?
7) In a nod to the Hebrew Scriptures, the Old Testament must be read from right to left
6) Replaces concordance with recipes from the kitchen of Martha of Bethany
5) Endorsed by Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer and Larry the Cable Guy
4) One version published in a notebook binder so you can remove any Scriptures you don't like
3) Proverbs 13:14 now reads, "The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life but God helps those who help themselves"
2) Eschewing bookstores, version can be purchased wherever fine wine and liquor are sold
And the number one sign that you're reading a bad Bible translation is...
1) The name is the Living Standard International Inclusive Inspirational Interlinear Study Bible or better known as the TLSIIIISB version!
