Top Ten Signs Your Pastor Needs to Work on his Bedside Manner

Top Ten Signs Your Pastor Needs to Work on his Bedside Manner

10) Spies half-eaten sandwich on a tray and asked, “Mind if I eat that?”

9) Spends entire visit on phone getting reports about his son’s T-ball game

8) Asks the nurse if she thinks “The Pitt” is realistic

7) Asks “This illness won’t keep you from giving your weekly tithe, will it?”

6) Complains about how far away from the hospital he had to park

5) Tells worried member, “Relax, most people don’t recover from this surgery.”

4) Asks, “You have a back problem? That’s nothing! Let me tell you about my back problem.”

3) Says, “Dr. Smith is your doctor? I thought he’d been convicted for malpractice.”

2) Tells member, “Wake up! I’ve only got 15 minutes.”

1) Wonders, “Have you made plans for the funeral yet?” 

Grace is greater than sin

 The cost of your sin is greater than you can pay.  The gift of your God is more than you can imagine.

John Jeske
Connecting Sinai to Calvary, page 27

"Nothing Can Separate You from Him"

So come to His table, listening only to His words and receiving what He gives.  All your doing doesn't count against you anymore.  There is none of you, none of your doing outside of Jesus forgiveness.  Nothing can separate you from Him, for He has borne it all and answered for it in your place.  The Lord invites you to His table, family and fellowship to share all His happy good.  This is how much He loves you.  And by this Meal the Lord brings you on your way to that glad feast that is the feast of the Lamb with all His saints.

Saints - that is you and me and all His disciples, the many accounted righteous, whose iniquities He bore, whose chastisement He took, those whom He makes whole by what He did as the sacrifice for sin and by what He gives us to share together at His table.  Amen.

Selected Sermons of Normal Nagel - page 112 

Is Your Pastor Delivering Jesus to You?

I didn't write down where I found this comment from Martin Luther.  Profound in its simplicity...

For the preaching of the Gospel is nothing else than Christ coming to us, or we being brought to Him.

Is your pastor delivering Jesus to you in his preaching and teaching?

Like the apostle Paul, is he resolved to know nothing among you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified? (1 Cor. 2;2)

Does he point to Jesus as the only way, truth and life? (John 14:6)

Does his preaching help you to see Jesus in His humility and glory? (John 12:21)

Helpful, effective preaching always has Jesus as its heart and core.

If your pastor is delivering Jesus to you, thank him.

If not, tell your pastor that you "wish to see Jesus. 

Jesus Christ, our Substitute

From John Jeske's wonderful book, Connecting Sinai to Calvary

Because in our place our substitute lived a life of perfect obedience to the holy law of God, God considers us to be people who have given Him the perfect obedience He demands.  Because in our place our substitute died innocently under God's curse, God considers us to have been punished for our sin. 

I've God the Joy, Joy, Joy Down In My Heart

Author Eugene Peterson has some very interesting observations regarding "joy."  For example:

Joy is not a requirement of Christian discipleship; it is a consequence...it is what comes to us when we are walking in the way of faith and obedience.

All suffering, all pain, all emptiness, all disappointment is seed: sow it in God and He will, finally, bring a crop of joy from it.

So often we believe that joy is something that we must muster up for ourselves.  Of course, we can't produce joy but how often do we fall for the lie that if we do something that makes us feel good (regardless of what God says about it) or if we obtain some new thing, we'll be joyous?

If we care at all about our relationship with God, living outside of His will won't bring a lasting joy.

And stuff can't make us happy.  Stuff breaks down or wears out or falls apart.  How much joy is there in all of that?

Where do we look for joy? Paul wrote to the Philippians: Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!

Our joy is in Jesus.  He puts the bounce in our step, the smile on our face, the joy in our hearts.

Listening to Him in His Word...speaking to Him in prayer...being in His house to receive His gifts...sharing His gifts with the people around us - that is where joy is found. 

We can't produce joy.  Jesus gives it as one of His precious gifts.

Worship the Lord faithfully and serve His people lovingly.  Watch and see if He doesn't fill your heart with joy overflowing!

Top 10 Signs Your Pastor Isn't Prepared For Bible Class

10) Falls asleep during “Drive Thru the Bible” and wakes up to see everyone has gone home

9) Spends an hour showing pictures from his recent vacation to Mexico

8) Tells class: “My dog ate my study notes.”

7) Comes in exactly one hour after class should have started and asked, “Am I late?”

6) Answers every question in class by saying, “Let’s circle back to that next week.”

5) Spends the hour in class asking for help in filling out his March Madness brackets

4) Cuts class 45 minutes early so he can get home and watch “Will Trent”

3) Tells class: “My dog ate my Bible”

2) Announces a new assignment: WWJWOTVITWTVIG (What would Jesus watch on television if there had been television in Galilee)

1) Asks each member of the class, “And what does this verse mean to you?