The comfort of God's Word

 "His Word will be that sharp-edged sword that will convict you when pride puffs you up, or be that soft blanket that comforts you when pain leaves you feeling wounded."

Joni Eareckson Tada, from "Joni and Ken - An Untold Love Story," page 179

Top Ten Signs Your Pastor Is Playing Too Much Golf

10) Refers to the Sanctuary as "the clubhouse."

9) Announces that his clergy apparel is sponsored by Nike, GE, and American Express.

8) During children's message has the kids critique his putting technique.

7) Visitors to his office are offered coffee or an "Arnold Palmer."

6) Replaces carpet in the narthex with a putting green.

5) Refuses to remove his "Titleist" cap during worship.

4) Can't decide if he wants to visit Wittenberg, the home of the reformation or St. Andrews, the home of golf.

3) Bulletin mistakes are called "bogeys."

2) Identifies five new mission fields for the church.  Coincidentally, they are all golf courses.

And the number one sign that the pastor is playing too much golf:

1) Regrets that he named his first born son, "Tiger." 

Excuses, excuses

Did your parents ever have to write a note to a school teacher asking that you be excused from class? My dear, sweet wife bought me a devotional book from author and humorist, Ken Davis, that offered some really funny notes from parents. 

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take physical education today.  Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent.  She was sick and I had her shot.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

And my favorite:

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it was Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 

O give me a pity, I'm on a committee

A number of years ago I came across a poem that seemed to capture the frustration that sometimes comes when serving on a committee.  Maybe you can relate.  It went something like this:

O give me a pity, I'm on a committee, Which means that from morning to night...We attend and amend and contend and defend, Without a conclusion in sight.

We confer and concur, we defer and demur, And reiterate all of our thoughts...We revise the agenda with frequent addenda, And consider a load of reports.

We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose, And the points of procedure are fun...But though various notions are brought up a motions, There's terribly little gets done.

We resolve and absolve, but never dissolve, Since it's out of the question for us...What a shattering pity to end our committee, Where else could we make such a fuss!

He is no fool...

"He is no fool who gives up that which he could never keep to gain that which he can never loose."

Jim Elliot

What happens when Jesus comes again?

But Jesus says He is coming.  When He does, it will not be as a judge to strike terror into my sinful heart.  He comes as the "Son of Man," a term Jesus loved to use of Himself.  That expression directs my eyes to a manger of straw, a cross of pain, a grave of victory.  He's the One who came earlier to shoulder my sins, die my death, fill my grave.  That's my Savior who's coming.

"Together With Jesus," November 26 devotion

Top Ten Church Staff Excuses

In going through some old blog posts I discovered that back in 2015 I posted a number of Top Ten Lists - kind of like David Letterman's Top Ten Lists.  So, for the next number of Friday's I'll be reprinting some of the lists.

10) Choir director: "We thought a country-western version of 'A Mighty Fortress is Our God' would go over well."

9) Fellowship chairperson: "I thought everyone would like liverwurst on a stick."

8) Nursery attendant: "I'm allergic to crying children."

7) Secretary: "Proof reading is not one of my spiritual gifts."

6) Organist: "I don't chose the hymns.  I just play the hymns."

5) Custodian: "I didn't think anyone would object to a tip jar on the bathroom counters."

4) Usher: "How was I suppose to know that that was their personal private pew?"

3) Associate Pastor: "It was the Senior Pastor's idea."

2) Senior Pastor: "It was the Associate Pastor's idea."

And the number one church staff excuse:

1) Youth leader: I guess the teenagers really should have been locked in