Define "pride"

Define "pride" as the sinful nature to advance one's self.

Nathan R. Pope, "Motivation for Ministry," page 25

A real can of worms!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to the Sunday sermon.  Four worms were placed in four separate jars.

The first worm was placed in a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the minister reported the following results:

The first worm in the alcohol - dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.

The third worm in chocolate syrup - dead.

The fourth worm in good clean soil - alive.

So the minister asked the congregation what they could learn from the demonstration.

A elderly woman was sitting in the back.  She quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!

That pretty much ended the service!

From "Lighten Up and Live" by Ken Davis, BroadStreet Books 

Humility is...

True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.

C.S. Lewis, from "Mere Christianity"

Top 10 Failed Christian Reality Shows

10) "A Healing Service Sent Me to the ER"

9) "American Horror Story - Accordion Praise and Worship"

8) "So You Think You Can Save Yourself"

7) "PU to PLI"

6) "Total Divas - Pastor's Wives Edition"

5) "Say Yes to the Alb"

4) "Gordon Ramsey's Potluck Nightmares"

3) "My Strange Addiction to Communion Wafers"

2) "Keeping Up with the Olsteens"

And the number one failed Christian TV reality show:

1) "Real Housewives of the ELCA"

Top Ten Things Mom Would Never Say To You

10) "You ate the entire cake? That's OK.  I'll just make another."

9) "How on earth can you see the television sitting so far back? Move closer!"

8) "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too."

7) "Just leave all the lights on in the house.  It makes the place more cheery."

6) "Let me smell your shirt.  Yeah, it's good for another week."

5) "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, Honey.  I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day."

4) "Well, if Timmy's Mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."

3) "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.  It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

2) "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind chill is bound to improve."

And the number one thing your Mom would never say to you:

1) "I don't have a tissue with me - just use your sleeve."

Culled from Homiletics Magazine

The Six Hardest Words to Say

It has been said that the six hardest words to say are, "I was wrong.  Please forgive me."  Many find it difficult to say these four words in return: "Yes, I forgive you.'

One of the lessons the little letter of Philemon can teach us is the importance of practicing forgiveness.  I call it "practicing" because a forgiving nature doesn't come naturally.

We can be hurt by the wrongs committed against us.  We might suffer loss.  We might feel pain.  We can be abandoned.  Our reputation might take an unjust hit.

The person inflecting such damage might come to their senses.  With sincerity of heart they approach you to seek reconciliation and forgiveness.  They speak the six hardest words to say.  How will you respond?

Perhaps you very quickly review "every good thing" you have in Christ Jesus.  You remember the humiliation of Christ: His immaculate conception and humble birth; His unjust suffering and His cruel death and burial,  You think of the price your Savior God paid so that you might receive forgiveness for the wrongs you've committed against the Holy God.  You remember the grace of God in your own life.  Then, through the power of the Holy Spirit, you extend the grace to the person who seeks forgiveness from you.

Reconciliation takes place between you and a friend, just as it did between Philemon and Onesimus.  It will take you less than 10 minutes to read Philemon.  Check it out.

A simple way to motivate your family

The loaded minivan pulled into the only remaining campsite.  Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent.  The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."

The father replied, "I have a system.  No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

From "Homiletics" magazine, May 2010, page 35