10) The glare from the pastor's forehead is too blinding
9) Three letters - NFL
8) I don't have kids yet
7) I have kids
6) People that happy give me the creeps
5) I can worship God in the outdoors...at the football stadium
4) I'm a good person and I want to avoid being told otherwise
3) They don't serve a good cappuccino during the coffee hour
2) When I want to feel guilty I just call my parents
1) No one asked me to go
