Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Kottwitz Stories

Years ago when my family and I became members of Trinity Lutheran Church in Edwardsville, IL., we very quickly became acquainted with George Kottwitz.  We learned that George was the resident humorist of the church.  He always had a story to tell and the punch line never failed to deliver a good laugh.  George regularly submits and is published in the Lutheran Witness magazine.  Here's a couple of samples of his humor.

Two elders drove to a nearby restaurant and bar after an early evening meeting at church.  While waiting for a table, they sat in the bar drinking a beer.  When their pastor walked by, one quickly said, "Oh, I hope Pastor didn't see us."  Asked the other, "What difference does it make? God knows we're having a beer."  "Sure," replied the first, "but God won't tell my wife!"

Or there's this one...

The new vicar popped into the church office with a printed copy of his yet-to-be-delivered first sermon.  Standing in front of the office's new paper shredder, he stared at the machine, a bit perplexed.  The church secretary, sensing he needed help, walked over and asked if she could do something for him.  "Yes," said the vicar, "can you show me how this thing works?"  She said, "Gladly!" She took the pages from the vicar's hand and began feeding them into the shredder.  "Thanks," said the vicar politely.  "But where do the copies come out?"