Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Top 10 Signs You're Not Reading Your Bible Enough!

I found this list in a magazine I was looking at today.  And I was inspired to try and come up with some of my own signs.  So, with apologies to David Letterman, here's the list.  I should disclose that numbers 8, 9 and 10 came from the magazine, "Homiletics."  1 through 7 are all mine (for better or worse!).  Anyway, here goes nothing...

10) You think Abraham, Issac and Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.
9) You keep falling for it every time the pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
8) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story - "Jonah the shepherd boy and his ark of many colors.
7) Your favorite Bible verse is "God helps those who help themselves."
6) You finally open the Bible your great grandfather gave you in 1962 and find five $100 bills.
5) Your favorite Old Testament patriarch is...wait, what is a patriarch?
4) You hate to read the family Bible - it's size makes it such a great doorstop. 
3) You wonder why no one has ever updated the King James Version of the Bible.
2) On a visit to your home, the pastor asks for a Bible and you give him your copy of "ESPN - The Magazine."
And the number one sign that you're not reading your Bible enough:
1) You believe that Jesus' earthly father's name was Joseph Christ!