Saturday, May 21, 2016

Top Ten Signs Your Pastor Is Too Focused On the Presidential Campaign

Last weekend, while we drove through one thundershower after another, I put this top 10 list together. It seemed like a good way to pass the time on I-35 which had major road construction and much stop-and-go traffic.  So be on the lookout for these important signs:

Signs your pastor is too focused on the Trump campaign

5) Made a motion during a voters meeting to have Megyn Kelly removed at Fox News

4) Tells confirmation student who failed to do his memory work, "You're Fired!"

3) Refers to Peter, James, John and the rest as the "12 Apprentices"

2) During the sermon asked the congregation to turn to "Two Corinthians, just like the Donald"

1) Dyed his hair orange

Signs your pastor is too focused on the Clinton campaign

5) Pastor encourages his wife to only wear pantsuits "like Hillary"

4) To drum up support for the church picnic the pastor tells the congregation, "It takes a village to raise up a great potluck!"

3) Spilled coffee on himself when someone sneaks up behind him and whispers, "Benghazi"

2) Balks at doing a baptism when learning the child's first name is "Monica"

1) Explained in Bible class that Jesus was arrested, persecuted and put to death due to a "vast right-wing conspiracy"