Friday, June 24, 2016

Top 10 Signs Your Pastor is Watching Too Much "Fixer Upper"

America is in love with Chip and Joanna Gaines. Your pastor may be among the many suffering from "Magnolia Mania." So watch for these important signs!

10) Disappointed that the church council won't approve his idea that the interior of the church be done in "ship lap."

9) Broke his arm hanging from a tree "just like Chip does."

8) Infuriates congregation by changing name of church from "Immanuel" to "Magnolia" Lutheran.

7) Entitles his sermon on the great flood, "Demo Day!"

6) Announces a new sermon series on great Biblical characters. First up: Joanna!

5) Looks odd while leading worship with a tool belt around his alb.

4) Proposes that new altar furniture be built by Clint Harp

3) Every fifth word in his sermon is "back splash."

2) Won't take off his new t-shirt, "Keep Waco Wacko."

And the number one sign that your pastor is watching too much "Fixer Upper?"

1) Tells parishioners, "Just call me Chip!"