Friday, March 31, 2017

Top Ten Anonymous Complaints from Members

A pastor is never pleased to find an anonymous note shoved under the office door.  These notes usually are written by members who have a complaint but don't want the pastor to know who the complainer is.  Here's the top ten...

10) I'm tired of all this preaching about evangelism.  Why the emphasis on outreach? You should tailor your preaching to those in the church who pay the bills!!

9) Can you get the organist to play faster? She plays like maple syrup has been poured over the keys and pedals!

8) Can you get the organist to slow down? She plays like she's got a 10 am reservation at a brunch!

7) Have you seen the Sunday school rooms? They are a mess! If the children can't keep them neat and clean, we should just cancel Sunday school!

6) I have a complaint about the free donuts you serve each Sunday.  I hate Bashas'! Get them from someplace else!

5) How much extra is it costing this church to have the custodian vacuum up all the Cheerios left behind by those noisy kids?!

4) Do something about the rude ushers! I'm sure one of them stood over me and wouldn't move until I put another dollar in the collection plate!

3) I don't like your attempts at humor on Sunday! And by the way, I don't like your haircut either!

2) Why in the world did we build a pulpit if you're not going to use it? Stand still!!

And the number one top ten anonymous complaint from members:

1) If you don't stop this praise band stuff I'm going to set the guitars and drums on fire!!!