Friday, July 17, 2015

Top Ten Signs the Pastor Could Have Used Another Year at the Seminary

10)  His stewardship series: "The church has plenty of money.  Unfortunately, it's in your pocket."

9) Announces that the church now accepts IOU's.

8) Relies too much on quotes from famous speeches: "Ask not what your pastor can do for you.  Ask what you can do for your pastor!"

7) Believes church discipline should be carried out the old fashioned way - by stoning!

6) Visitors are unable to see him in his office unless they know the "secret knock."

5) In the children's message teaches the children how to do the Macarena.

4) Prints bulletins in the "original Hebrew."

3) In Bible class tells everyone to read the Old Testament from right to left.

2) Preaches on his favorite Bible verse, "God helps those who help themselves."

And the number one sign the pastor could have used another year at the Seminary:

1) Refers to the LWML group as a bunch of "hot babes."