Friday, July 24, 2015

Top Ten Signs that the Pastor is Playing too much Golf

10) Refers to the Sanctuary as "the clubhouse."

9) Announces that his clergy apparel is sponsored by Nike, GE, and American Express.

8) During children's message has the kids critique his putting technique.

7) Visitors to his office are offered coffee or an "Arnold Palmer."

6) Replaces carpet in the narthex with a putting green.

5) Refuses to remove his "Titleist" cap during worship.

4) Can't decide if he wants to visit Wittenberg, the home of the reformation or St. Andrews, the home of golf.

3) Bulletin mistakes are called "bogeys."

2) Identifies five new mission fields for the church.  Coincidentally, they are all golf courses.

And the number one sign that the pastor is playing too much golf:

1) Regrets that he named his first born son, "Tiger."